There’s nothing that upsets me more than adults misunderstanding children, then go on to make them wrong for it.
Often I meet parents that are so frustrated with their 3, 4, or five-year-old.
“This child is so demanding! Give me this, give me that now! etc.”
If these parents (and teachers) would just take a breath, zoom out and look at what’s really going on, it would serve them well.
How did a child get its diaper changed? Get food? Crying, whining, and being demanding right? Perfectly normal until we help them transition into using more effective strategies to get what they want.
If a child is still trying to get its needs met at 5-years-old using a baby strategy, it’s just a sign they need training.
They’re not broke, it’s not ADD, they are not out to get you, they are crying out for leadership.
If we don’t lead and provide a better strategy for getting his or her needs met they tend to get locked into demanding behavior that will stunt their evolution.
If your child is still screaming and demanding to get their needs met, slow them down and say something like:
“I hear you. Let’s say that again but let’s whisper it with a smile on our face.” This approach loosens up their out-dated-demanding-pattern and gives them a healthier strategy for getting what they want.
We tend to get what we tolerate. Don’t tolerate children using an outdated strategy in an attempt to fill their needs, then make them wrong for it. Lead them gently with a smile and be firm. They may resist a little but over time they will be happy you stepped up and led them to a higher ground.